The Edge of Glory...

"Like sands through the hour glass, these are the days of our lives...." I remember that soap opera from when I was a kid. I'm hoping it was just background noise and that my mother didn't actually sit down to watch- but none the less, that one sentence has lingered in the back of my brain for all these years. I pull it out sometimes, when life is going slow (usually Jan-Feb-March) because it always seemed to me that watching sand fall through an hour glass must be the most boring thing one can do. Like watching grass grow, no?

Yet, the past few weeks have been a whirlwind here in Jules' World. Big BIG changes have taken place, meaning even bigger decisions have been made, which means through all the swimming & biking & running & raising an Iron-kid- well, the sands have suddenly started to fall much faster. "Take a moment to think about it." Sure, I'd love to, if you could give me a moment to spare.

If you're like me, then most of your major life altering decisions are taken when out training. The constant cadence, the rhythmic breathing, the time to focus, spent in His glory just thankful to have strong, able legs- there really are not many problems that cannot be solved during a sweaty, long run.

A brutal swim also works well when you need time to ponder.

And that's how it happened. In an 8 X 25m set of pulling; a pull buoy between my thighs and a 170lbs lean & mean duathlete champion holding onto my ankles. I went from feeling like a human tug-boat, to being empowered and inspired by my own abilities. And in the midst of all my tugging & dying & really not moving through the water very fast- my life was changed, and my very life changing decisions were made.

Here is what my swim coach not-knowingly taught me: that when people try to slow you down/ hold you back/ stop you from moving forward in life- DIG. Push harder. Reach father and deeper and be tougher than ever before. Find your superpowers!! Do not ever let anyone, not even ankle holding swimmers, prevent you from using all your awesomeness to achieve your goals.

If it matters to you, it matters. If it's a goal you have set, go get it.

The sands in the hour glass fall quickly, my friends. This much, I know now, is true. Don't settle for being the tug-boat of someone else's negativity. Don't ease up your pace so someone can catch up to you.... Run solid & steady and let them draft, but don't ever let them slow you down. I've made my BIG decisions, and life is already different than it was last week. And what many think is crazy is really just me- with my eye on finish line of my many, many little goals- paving my uncharted path yellow brick by yellow brick.

Train safe my friends, & continue to be the Most Awesome!

OMG- just looked at the date of my last post.. April 27th??? What the.....??? Has it been that long that I've given some attention to paving my yellow bricks?
WOW... Training season must be in full distance mode... sorry to you, that wonderful person who reads my blog. :o)

In the meantime, through all my swimming & biking & running wild & free, a major breakthrough has taken place: I have found in me, a true triathlete.

I did not end up racing the Rev3 Half last wkend. It's been rainy here. Like, everyday rain. I've never been shy to admit my bike handling skills are rather shameful, and yes, I am a fairweather rider. Although during a downpour I will open the garage door just to mimic a windtunnel, I consider trainer rides to be nothing more than 'getting 'er done'. So I didn't even show up to my first race of the season. No excuses other than the spring rain caused a delay in my season of about 2 months. Me + rain + 90km clipped in aero = bad for everyone's overall health and safety.
I DNSed.

But entering June without a new race t-shirt made me feel very weak. Like a runner on a long taper I was losing my mind. Feeling a bit ansy. A bit like a fraud. Certainly, it is very untriathlete of me to not have raced even a sprint yet. I feel like I'm standing here...
Ready to go, fit & fabulous, yet not even my toes are getting wet, while
this is where I truly want to be

The mind of a crazy person can be an interesting place. The mind of a complete wacko athlete can be an annoying place. I started questioning my dedication. I thought about the people who get out everyday- the swimmers, the joggers, the nordic-walkers of the world who get up everyday to train.... for nothing. I love training for it's many awesome benefits, but at the end of a few weeks I want to burst open at a start line. Why is that?

Why do some never sign up? Do they not want to start & finish anything? Do they not crave the boost of serotonin and ego that only a race can provide? Or do they know not what they are missing, because they have never tri-ed?

AHHHH.... NOOOOO.... YESSSSSS....We 'racers' are equal to a bunch of crackheads! We're chasing that fix, that moment, that rush... Worst, at the moment I was like a junkie- willing to do anything to line up along the shore...Oh my...

So I got online and thanks to Active.com and their hefty fees I got all signed up for the Pumpkinman Half Iron. A bit down the calendar, but a check off the bucket list that provided temporary relief. I now have another goal, another reason to keep training hard. I WILL & I CAN!!

That satisfaction was short lived. 2 days later I was still fighting the urge.

So what? I am indeed a junkie and most of my friends are addicts. Admitting is the first step, and although I now had an A race just 15 wks away I was honest to admit it just wasn't enough. Patience is not a virtue I was blessed with; I needed more immediate satisfaction. I also decided I really need a new bike! Certainly, a new TT bike and new race wheels will make this summer season immediately better. Right? RIGHT!!!!
Yep. More temporary fixes. More fun and much more expensive, but satisfaction none the less.

So my wacky week of quick fixes and lingering pity cost me a few pennies and a few sleepless nights. Yet it also made me realise the most important fact: race or no race, fast or not quite, ready or not, I am still a triathlete. A crazy, obsessed, in love, happy as a pig in poop AG triathlete. YAHOO!!

So now I'm mentally stable and looking for a plane ticket to Calgary so my new bike & I can go laugh through 70.3 miles.
FUN!


Train safe,

I have been rather fast in the past. I have ran super silly long distances too. Before tri, I was simply a really dedicated runner- it’s what I do. It’s what I do rather well.

Well, life has it’s moments that will humble you right back down to being nada. Not that I have had a big head lately, the season has just started and I’m certainly not peaking, nor near race weight. The bike is clean and ready to hit the road, I still wondering if I’ll fall sideways my first ride out. I have completely dissected my swim stroke; in order to get faster I have slowed down so much I dropped back a lane. Nope, I’m not a super triathlete these days at all, so being a rather good runner was enough to keep me feeling like my inner Badass Self. Until yesterday.

Yesterday is a day I will never forget. Yesterday is not worth crying over, it’s spilled milk and it’s done. But O yesterday, what happened? What did I do? It’s all a blur and it makes no sense.

Yesterday, I couldn’t run 5 km. I was so slow I stopped running because I knew walking would be faster.

The shame. The disappointment. We were so good together and so close, running knew the secrets of my heart, and it knew all my hopes and dreams. Still, yesterday for the first time ever, running stood me up.

I don’t know what to do today. I’m lost. I’m not injured, not broken. I’m walking fine, everything is good in the legs. No asthma, that’s gone for good (yippee!) Monday was an off day, so it’s not like it was a recovery miscalculation.

I was supposed to swim today, that’s what the program says, but I feel I need to call up running, just to see if it’s possible again. I need to give that run a second chance. I lost sleep wondering if yesterday meant the end. It can’t be. I can’t stand that thought of it…. Then I thought perhaps running was pissed about the tri thing…. Maybe dedicating so much muscle mass to swimming & riding had intimidated my run- but that can’t be- I just registered for a marathon, surly I intend to run it.

Do I do a brick today then? Maybe swim then run a 10km from the pool. I’m not going to waste this opportunity on the treadmill, perhaps it’s best to go old-school and hit the muddy trails. That will ease the fear & tension, make it fun. Maybe hills, if I’m going to cry & vomit anyways...

Its 4am, perhaps I’m over thinking. Yet, Ryan lost his run until he wrote a book and ran 2:04 in Boston. So I’m blogging, putting the odds on my side! HAHAHA.

Run Strong, Train Safe Friends!

I have not been in training induced pain, in a long time. We all know how I make recovery a priority, and being that I'm a Mompreneur who works from home, that task is made rather easy. I conference call in compression socks most days of the week.
(The rule about wearing them in public still stands- if you do, please know that this is VERY wrong, it must STOP now!)

Yet today, after a week of some intense "get back into mode' training - I stepped out of bed, and proceeded down the steps on my tip toes. I had forgotten how track work can linger in the calves- OUCH! So obviously the season is in full swing, and I'm happy to report that the swim and runs of this week have hurt a bit, as they should!

I haven't posted in a while. I guess I needed to step back and prioritize before I filled your world with more useless info. The recent weeks have been buzzing with tri related activity- and I am VERY VERY excited.

I have stated many times how I believe that tri is much like life itself. The planning, the process of trials and achievements, the START - the journey - the FINISH that only brings you enough joy or heartache to get you to the next START. A long run can be a very spiritual few hours, a burning swim sprint just another witness to just how far you can dig.

I have learned that what we take for granted in this sport can be ripped from you in a second, without warning and without fairness. A kick in the swim can ruin a race; a tragedy on the bike can ruin a life. The levels of pain on those first 2km in training can easily lead the whimps right back home. It takes a strong amount of dedication, passion, reason and mental toughness to get out the door everyday; like in life, if we allow the uncomfortable to slow us down, it will proceed to stop us.

Last year, in the days following the deaths of 3 local, beautiful triathletes, a lot of questions came up. I believe most of us had a few very sincere conversations with ourselves and our families: "Do I go on?" "Is it worth it?" With everyone around us saying "NO!", somehow, some weeks later, we persevered. We've all been in this situation I am sure, you only need to watch the Kona broadcast to cast fear -this sport has a dark, dangerous side, and those on the sidelines of encouragement can be quick to ask us why we ever take the risk.

This year, in my personal life, I am facing those same challenges. I have a reason in my heart for doing what I do, yet the majority around me were quick to step down without support or encouragement. I changed the pace of my daily motions (that was comfortable to them), and as a result, I lost most along the way. They don’t get it, they don’t know enough about the details; rather than learning- they ducked out.
But that's OK. And I'm really OK. And big things are happening that very few could foresee.
In most long distance events, being steady wins the race.

So I go back to a blog I posted last year, about doing something good for others:
http://julie-gorham.blogspot.com/2010_09_12_archive.html

Well, it's happening! It's finally happening!! There are final details being worked out; logos to organize, race suits to order, websites to launch, and final media details to be confirmed.... My racing will be for a greater cause. My training will be to shed some light, and together, we will raise awareness for something very worthy, and something greater than this Yellow Brick blog!

Our sport is like life- you can use your race to simply race faster next time, or you can boldly wear your medal to the office and perhaps inspire others to tri.

To the many wonderful people involved and encouraging this new, awesome project- I thank you, from the bottom of my heart. Your support is golden!

Train safe- spring has sprung!
P.S.- Anyone raising funds for a race charity, contact me if you need fundraising help. There is a better way to raise much more$$!!! 63reasons@gmail.com

I have been getting some questions from the younger / fit crowd, wondering why optimizing their immune system would be important. So here is some quick info, meant to help all healthy, physically active people understand why their immune system is cruical to their everyday health & performance. Yes, I am posting this, because this is my blog, my business, and my mission in life is to make you all incredibly stronger, better, & more motivated to use the podium sport has given you, to help someone else change their life & tri- harder. When we are healthy & fit & kickin' butt, we do that last part much more efficiently!

For more info, pls visit my site @ http://www.immunotec.com/trijulieclick products. You will also find my contact info on that website.

Truth is, most of us can reflect and discover the same 'training' problems arise every year when we are stressed out: colds, sometimes turning into the flu, pains in the groin, in your back, knee pains that all go unexplained. Training is slowing, or stopped, and showing no real signs of progress. Motivation is going through the floor? WTH? An exaggeration?

Maybe: but some of you have certainly gone through the whole range several times a year.... So what's up? To always feel great as an athlete on the edge of your limit to performance is quite tricky. It means a balancing act where you can easily lose your balance. Overstep or misstep.... it's gone.

We have all been told to each lots of carbs, and protein on a 4-1 ratio. Counting calories is one thing, but the distribution of energy that happens in the metabolic processes is not regulated by the intake of calories but by a number of regulatory processes.

Sport is often pure stress merely due to the effort of training. The body demands an optimal biological stress response. Who performs to peak is mearly the athlete whose stress response is best optimized. An immune system and a nervous system as well as hormones at the peak of performance; that is perfect regulation. That means that each system itself works optimally and the cooperation between them, too. Meaning that the immune system is not only a protection system you might need when you are old, but a regulatory system that plays an important role in your life NOW. The immune system is activated within the first minute of stress, and releases all the cellular defenses needed for equal distribution of energy within the body. The healing process takes priority over the performance 'go fast now' process, that is why a slight cold can require so much energy, leaving you tired, moody, and weak, and suddenly injured.

Your immune system will determine much about your training, racing, and everyday living. Do not think it's just for old sick people. We all have one, and when we are pushing our bodies and trying to become stronger, better, faster, longer is when we MUST optimize it- so that it can work to optimize us! If you are training for a race, hitting the gym daily, or chasing the kids around the park- you need your immune system working for you.

You can read more here see blog 2010_12_05 in the archives on the right, and check out my website http://www.immunotec.com/trijulie.prod for the best, proven all natural immune optimizing proteins available.
Train safe & enjoy, as spring has sprung!!

Courage was soooo last year!

Last year, in my training, my every stroke and every stride, I inhaled and exhaled courage. Most days it was the courage just to be out riding on the open roads, other days it was the courage to face my physical limitations head on. In Timberville, well, you'll have to go back and read that post for yourself- because I refuse to cry again this morning in an attempt to explain.

This year they informed us our horoscopes changed, the winter weather completely changed, my numerologist (she is awesome, let me know if you need her info) told me my life number had also changed and I was entering a new era of Jules. Good news to me, all these changes, because I happen to be a person who is quite comfortable with switching things up. But I took the 'it's all new & improved' way too literally, and assumed it meant my heart had changed too. I posted pictures of NYC all over my training wall, printed my time in big & bold above my treadmill, and decided this was the year that I qualify for NYCM. YAHOO!
And all was going so well. Running and running, running and running. In a plane, on a train, instead of a car- opps! I ran too far!
Remember, a little Karnazes took over my legs? Well, he's still in there, and I've got the glutes to prove it! (Can't post a pic, sorry, it's NOT that kind of blog!)
But I ran through January & February like I was racing an ultra... until 3 good friends took note...

They were right, I'm too slow in triathlon to not want to keep tri-ing! It does society a huge favor when I race- other people beat me and it makes them feel good to pass the skinny, really fit bitch who looks as though she should be tearing it up. I just don't have the desire to go fast on the bike, and I don't know if I ever will. Long distance, for me anyways, is freedom. What would I do all summer if I were not out training for 6-7 hours? I'd lose that freedom! My friends are smart people- tri is a huge part of my life, and I'm not willing to let it go now!

I started thinking while I was out running. Deeply. I had intense moments of reflection and sharp pains in my heart (no, not really!) I love this crazy sport too much to walk away- and I'd be foolish to not tri this season, as I am 110% dedicated to Roth in 2012.
Good news to report: I am back in the pool; have my first 'race' coming up on March 19th. A 1500m swim competition, in a 25m pool- it takes a true triathlete to consider THAT a fun way to spend a few minutes, no?
I don't know where you are in your training; I do hope it's going very well. But I've got 2 months to catch up, and 6 this season to be more bad ass than I was last year- YAHOO!!! Oh, the laughs we will have! Watch out people- she's back, more happy, more smiley, just as silly yet much stronger than before! WHOOP WHOOP!!

See you all at the races; till then, train safe,

Farewell Till Then... a Love Letter.

I'm throwing it out there; let's see who leaves some love after. Yes, I am openly asking for your e-mails or comments, because I wake up lately almost with certainty that I am all alone. Mind you I kind of am- I live in the Middle of Nowhere, QC. It's winter time and the only thing my town is renowned for is the cycling in the summer, and hurricane type winds. Wait, we have a rather famous fancy hotel here too, but I believe they must keep guests A la Hotel California because I run past it often and I have yet to make a friend on its lush grounds. Today I shall look for hands in the windows...

I think I just ran off track. Now I have some scary movie I have never seen playing through my mind. Whomever it was that stated the common truths about athletes having some serious mental differences, I hereby agree!
We do. We are. Thank goodness for that. The world would be much more pathetic if no one ever tri-ed.
Let’s note that I do love the man very much for all he has done, for sport but more so for cancer- yet I have disagreed with Lance before in this blog. Since he still hasn't called to prove his point (ha ha) I do believe that I am right on this one: Endurance athletes are not running FROM something, we are running TOWARDS something.
It's the common cycle of my own life that makes me right and Lance wrong. Hence I ask for your feedback, perhaps I am not the only one? Go back through the periods of your training, please; perhaps you too will find that when you had a big goal, something huge to accomplish outside of triathlon, that's when the endurance athlete in you justified cheating your program, and simply went long.
LSD Long slow distance. When there are big goals ahead and I begin to take action towards reaching them, I morph into the ultramarathon runner I was really born to be. It's a new year, with new goals, with a lot of work ahead... call me Karnazes!


The new business is proving to be much 'bigger' than I ever could have imagined. It's also given me more time to train. Yet every week, I sit and review my tri training program, I clean my bike (she's on the trainer, but I'm a bit neurotic) and yet all I want to do is run. I'm just running. I run to the bank. To the office. To the store. I run for an excuse to get away from the computer, to leave the cell phone (which broke and I have yet to replace) at home. I download the latest Motion Traxx (total plug right there- check it out on iTunes FREE!) and I just go. The boys of IM Talk are back so I downloaded the newest on the pod as well. I've listened to it 3 times this week- while running. I'm no longer fast, but I'm not injured not sore not thinking that it's an icy barren jungle with wind gusts that would snap a kite... I'm just running free. (fully clothed, but free as in YAHOO!)
Just yesterday on a webinar I referred to myself as a triathlete and I felt like the biggest fraud. I am doing all my tri friends a disservice thinking I stand amongst them. In the season of my life story right now, (get a Kleenex….......) I am a runner.
GASP...................... EXHALE....................... DO I HAVE NO HEART?????
I said it. It used to give me so much pride. I adore my runner friends. Yet right now, as I'm watching the sun peek between the clouds and my legs are twitching just to hit the packed snow for 2hrs, admitting that totally saddens me.

Life really is bittersweet.

Goals can give you a finish line, allowing you to periodize your season so that the ultimate dream is attainable. The WHY's will get you to take action. We proceed in solitude, knowing our mission, hoping to find a few cheerleaders and mentors along the way. I have spent my adult life studying triathlon. The history, the good the bad and the ugly. I am obsessed with the sport, and I do believe it loves me very much. It's been kind and generous, and I know we will meet again. What I had last season was the ultimate friendship. It led me to greatness. It made me a better person. It gave me the courage I was desperately searching for. Yet seasons change.

On this journey, along these Yellow Bricks, it seems I have now lost my heart.... So I'm putting a leash on Toto and taking him out for a run; maybe, just maybe, when we finally get to the wizard, he will very surprisingly be a Kenyan after all...

Train safe.