Polishing my Yellow Bricks, Again.

I let this blog go last year. It had been a safe haven for quite sometime; writing it became almost a social event. Then one morning, after a long wintery run, I didn’t need to write. Words to paper had lost their meaning. The freedom & joy I felt could no longer be expressed in Times New Roman.

I moved on. 

Today I am back.

Neither because I need to, nor because I believe any of you are still waiting for me to post. It’s been a while; I hope we’ve all moved along. Yet the recent tragedies in Newtown, CT have reminded me that my Dylan, my friends, my little tri-ing life are important to me, and maybe also for those I don’t speak to everyday. Maybe u want to know how I’ve been as I often want to know about u.  How have u been my friend? Where are u now?  Did u get that PR?  How was that race?

Facebook schmacebook. I haven’t had the pep in me since Friday. I love everyone there, and I'm usually happy to high 5 the world but since Friday I’m too tied up hugging everyone I see. I’ve almost suffocated Dylan a few times.

I’ve looked for peace over the past days.  Did yoga yesterday. Although yoga gives me much, it’s never given me a moment of Zen…. It does do a darn good job on my core & hammies, but I’m not yogi enough to find pleasure in any pretzel position. I gave my Coach a copy of my favorite yoga DVD for Christmas one year; I needed him to understand my tolerance level for pain.  :) Yoga this week gave me sore abs, it didn’t center me one bit.

I ran on Sunday. Normally a refuge for me, as many of u know. There is not much that cannot be solved in the long run; but how do u explain the unexplainable? Through blistering cold winds and slick trails, my BFF running partner extraordinaire let me cry, made me giggle, held me up (literally at some points, it was icy) and hugged me tightly. Coach mandated a short, ez 1hr20min, yet despite the cold, I’d have needed another 4hrs out there to truly feel numb. And although I am heartbroken, I am still wise and far from seeing the advantage of overtraining. 

So I sit here, 5am with my favorite coffee, hot & comforting before I get on the bike trainer. I revive a dead blog only to say "HI". I have no solutions, in heartbreak, in life or in triathlon – I simply continue to push my boundaries and report back all the tidbits of awesome I may find in my own personal outer limits. Although I have nothing awesome to share today, I can only use this post as a means to remind u all, or perhaps just remind myself, that we are here together. Swimming, biking, running, living, cooking, getting faster, loving, laughing, drinking good coffee, raising children, and raising each other at times… if u need a friend, today or ever, I am here. Sometimes, the simple reminder that we are not alone on this journey brings the shine back to our yellow bricks.

Peace & love, pls train safe,

Put Into Words...

New Years Day.
It's become a very emotional day for me, not in typical New Years booze & hangover fashion, but more as a day to take inventory.  I write a RR of the past year;  high 5 myself for what I accomplished, and admit failure where I must improve going forward.  Attitude check, goal check, where am I now check, where do I need to be check.
Just as my Coach takes consideration of my physical abilities & limiters as he writes up my weekly training plan- I must do the same with the emotional departments of my life, or both sides of my coin will clash in epic failure.

2011= greatest success of my life. I made MVP in my own little big world.

I forgot to run, big whoop. I'm not worried about it, it's coming back...
This year was about the bike. About discovering freedom and peace in that world. A lot changed out there in the hills, and a few things stayed the same.... If I wake up in the morning, with my baby boy snuggled up beside me, that's a perfect start. If I get out, train hard, get home safe- that's a victory & a blessing.
Those are the 2 moments I strive for each & everyday. The rest is gravy. Getting faster, running better, learning to go down steep in aero- those ingredients just supersize my day.

If I look back, I accomplished everything I wanted to in triathlon so far. Happy.

Bigger news of 2011: Dylan joined the tri club. He's leaning to swim in a semi-straight line. He's signed up for his 1st kiddie-tri, he's got a new red bike, & he's got an awesome set of coaches who know that it really is a kids sport, they allow him to be one.  They've taught me too, because truly, the hardest part of being a triathlete- of- a- mother is trying to control my child's competitiveness while not destroying it all together...

(If you are looking to give back this season, I'd suggest you volunteer at a kiddie-tri.  It's a beautiful, humbling thing to watch a child learn this sport. You will learn more about yourself in one afternoon than you have in all your own races combined.)

I don't believe in resolutions. I'm too type-A for that fluffy BS. So in 2011 I decided firmly to believe, with childlike imagination, that all things are possible... Amazingly they became so.  I've got proof, and I'm taking it with me into 2012.
I cannot name everyone, because, well, stealth is the new black for this season, but I made some very awesome new friends, whose support & enthusiasm spills over the rim of triathlon into the rest of my life. I am most grateful for their presence.

Know that YOU are one of them.. you have inspired me.... I thank you.
2010 was a year of courage.
2011 has been a ride of faith.
2012 is the year of the duck.

Quack Quack, & train safe.
Happy New Year my friends. I love ya.