Well, life has it’s moments that will humble you right back down to being nada. Not that I have had a big head lately, the season has just started and I’m certainly not peaking, nor near race weight. The bike is clean and ready to hit the road, I still wondering if I’ll fall sideways my first ride out. I have completely dissected my swim stroke; in order to get faster I have slowed down so much I dropped back a lane. Nope, I’m not a super triathlete these days at all, so being a rather good runner was enough to keep me feeling like my inner Badass Self. Until yesterday.
Yesterday is a day I will never forget. Yesterday is not worth crying over, it’s spilled milk and it’s done. But O yesterday, what happened? What did I do? It’s all a blur and it makes no sense.
Yesterday, I couldn’t run 5 km. I was so slow I stopped running because I knew walking would be faster.
The shame. The disappointment. We were so good together and so close, running knew the secrets of my heart, and it knew all my hopes and dreams. Still, yesterday for the first time ever, running stood me up.
I don’t know what to do today. I’m lost. I’m not injured, not broken. I’m walking fine, everything is good in the legs. No asthma, that’s gone for good (yippee!) Monday was an off day, so it’s not like it was a recovery miscalculation.
I was supposed to swim today, that’s what the program says, but I feel I need to call up running, just to see if it’s possible again. I need to give that run a second chance. I lost sleep wondering if yesterday meant the end. It can’t be. I can’t stand that thought of it…. Then I thought perhaps running was pissed about the tri thing…. Maybe dedicating so much muscle mass to swimming & riding had intimidated my run- but that can’t be- I just registered for a marathon, surly I intend to run it.
Do I do a brick today then? Maybe swim then run a 10km from the pool. I’m not going to waste this opportunity on the treadmill, perhaps it’s best to go old-school and hit the muddy trails. That will ease the fear & tension, make it fun. Maybe hills, if I’m going to cry & vomit anyways...
Its 4am, perhaps I’m over thinking. Yet, Ryan lost his run until he wrote a book and ran 2:04 in Boston. So I’m blogging, putting the odds on my side! HAHAHA.
Run Strong, Train Safe Friends!