It's over. It's done. It's in the books; or in my books at least because my name got spelled wrong again so I'm a mystery on the stats page. Never the less, I was # 575, I had a good race, and the first tri of the season is now one I can recall with a smile.
I am happy that smile finally came through, because race morning was typical 'Jules', sick & scared, and it wasn't pretty. I needed help, of the divine kind, and I needed it bad.
About to sell my race to the lowest bidder, I realized some intervention was in order. I sat down on my transition mat, said a good prayer, and had a deep & meaningful conversation with me, myself & I. No surprise, we spoke about Dylan.
My child is on a mission right now, at the coolest age of 3 1/2, to discover absolutely everything about life. He approaches nothing with caution and never gives anything a second's worth of hesitation. As bouncy as children are, they are also fearless. Perhaps appropriate then that just last week we had a mommy-son talk about fear.
Sitting on my transition mat looking like a total DNS, I replayed that talk in my head. Finding logic in Dylan's 3yr old wisdom, I set my pace.
The rain clouds moved on just in time for the morning sunshine to dry the bike course; when you need it most...
The gun went off, all arms and legs and breathing all got tangled together... and I executed a perfect race. I found my confidence coming out of the swim, and it was literally all uphill from then on. No matter to me that I got beat, I really wasn't there to even attempt a podium; I was there to run again, to learn something about myself, about racing and all that encompasses our amazing sport, about my friends & teammates.
I gave out many yahoo's & high 5's on that course, and a good ol' pat on my own back when it was over. Sometimes, it can be good to linger in your own doings. I'm learning to be fearless, I'm trying to be competitive (Steven- be proud!). I might giggle through every race, I probably will never push as hard as I can...but if I can help someone else, or even myself, get to the finish line, then it's a good race for me...